In 2002, Alvin Joiner aka mr. X to tha Z Xzibit biatch was at the height of his career, at least in terms of success. After a few years releasing incredible albums like 40 Dayz & 40 Nightz in the mid to late '90s on Loud Records, he was noticed (alongside his mentor King Tee) by the one and only Dr. muthafuckin' Dre, who saw fit to include Xzibit on multiple tracks from his hugely successful LP 2001 in 1999. These excellent guest verses led Dr. Dre to Xzibit's personal studio, where he lent a hand on X's third LP, and first to really hit the big time, Restless, an album I covered like a year ago. Time really does fly.
While Restless wasn't quite as fantastic as Xzibit's previous two projects, it was still pretty great, and the optimistic hip-hop heads probably indicated that Alvin just needed to become used to the spotlight in order to craft a truly brilliant record that also happened to sell well. Restless, as enjoyable as it was, had the occasional train-wreck of a song, and also felt a little too glossy and clean, contrasting the gritty atmosphere of his first two projects. Therefore, Xzibit set about tweaking the formula, attempting to make some darker tracks while still concocting songs that could conceivably receive some radio airplay. He even managed to pull in a similarly star studded roster to Restless, although some fans would be disappointed to note the absence of Tha Alkaholiks and King T, the guys who put X on in the first place and were instrumental in his success. And don't get too excited for a reunion either - X wouldn't make music with these chaps again until 2012, by which point he couldn't help their careers out anyway, as his descent into irrelevance was all but complete by then. How depressing.
But going back to 2002, Man Vs Machine, the new album that was executively produced by Dre but weirdly not on his Aftermath record label (X infamously attempted to leave Loud, only to receive a stab wound to the face for his troubles), seemed to be a success on the surface, being Xzibit's highest charting record to date, and also having a minor hit in "Multiply". But let me tell you - it's no coincidence that Dr. Dre and his friends would quietly depart from the Xzibit experiment shortly after this album's release; as you're about to see, Man Vs Machine wasn't quite the follow up that fans were hoping for.
I mean, surely it's not a good sign that this was the last album released on Loud Records before it's tragic liquidation. Surely.
1. Release Date (prod. Rockwilder)
For the first time on one of his albums, X forgoes any kind of dramatic intro skit, and gets right on with the music, dropping one long ass verse over one of the best Rockwilder beats I've ever heard - this shit is menacing, and sounds exactly like the album cover if that makes sense. The mechanical, electronic sound effects on this track make me understand how this album got it's title. As for the Xzibit performance, it's... pretty fucking great if I'm being honest. The concept of this track is that X has just been released from prison, and he's reminiscing on all the hard times and people that double crossed him - with the lines towards the end especially being quite poignant and powerful. "I hope I never see none of you motherfuckers again" - how subtle of you. The verse here gets more engaging the longer it goes on for, which is quite the feat, and I was almost sad when it was over - that said, surely after such an opener most listeners would be desperate to hear what else X had cooked for this LP. This was about as good of a way possible he could have opened things up. Wow!
2. Symphony In X Major (feat. Dr. Dre) (prod. Rick Rock)
3. Multiply (feat. Nate Dogg) (prod. Denaun)
4. Break Yourself (prod. Rick Rock)
One word: ehhh. Aside from the extraordinarily offensive final verse (in which Xzibit spews unwarranted hate on multiple occasions, e.g. "fuck y'all, y'all homosexual" and "hospital bed, you vegetable". The fuck??), there isn't too much to remember about this one, which I suppose is better than it being disastrously bad. The instrumental isn't terrible but grows old quickly, Xzibit's flows are formulaic as fuck, and frankly the hook is irritating from the get go. And my god are some of these lyrics lazy - "hanging on my dick, like testical" sounds like something you'd hear in a secondary school playground from someone who's clearly ran out of pre-written bars to deliver, and there isn't anything here close to making up for it. I remember enjoying this a lot when I was younger, but now I'm left very underwhelmed; this shit is barely mixtape worthy, let alone something that should be appearing on such a highly anticipated record. Get it off!
5. Heart Of Man (prod. Jelly Roll)
Sampling Toto's "Africa" didn't work for Nas in '99, and it certainly isn't working for Alvin here. Seriously, the amount of shitty rap songs I've put myself through with this sample have damn near put me off the original song for life. Fuck!
6. Harder (feat. The Golden State Project) (prod. Jelly Roll)
After they were left off of Restless for unexplained reasons, Xzibit's crew The Golden State Project (X, Ras Kass and Saafir) re-unite for this terrible, terrible collaboration that was most likely the nail in the coffin for the fabled group album these guys were supposed to release, advertised within the booklet for Man Vs Machine. I mean sure, the verses on here aren't that bad, and it's actually nice to hear from Ras Kass and Saafir every now and then - both of them are underrated MCs in my opinion - but please let me know if you can find a single person on this earth who can honestly say they enjoy this beat, and this chorus. Because I don't believe such a person exists. And did the attack on Xzibit damage his brain or something? Because what the fuck happened to his pen game? He easily has the worst verse on here, sounding like a gimmick of himself. This track is a huge disappointment all round.
7. Paul
Not sure why Eminem's manager is so concerned for Xzibit's whereabouts, given that he has no connection to him business-wise (and it's not like Em would desperately need an X collaboration for promotion, what with him winning and Oscar in the next few months and being generally the biggest rapper on the planet at the time). Still, I guess this gives Em completists further reason to track down this CD, so there's that.
8. Choke Me, Spank Me (Pull My Hair) (prod. Dr. Dre)
I'm sure no-one was expecting a song with this title to be good when reading the tracklist - but of all the instrumentals did it really have to be a Dre prescription that X ruins with this audio equivalent of S&M? This album is seriously going off the rails.
9. Losin' Your Mind (feat. Snoop Dogg) (prod. Dr. Dre)
In all seriousness, that last three track run (excluding the "Paul" skit) is one of the worst on any CD I own, so that should tell you something about how this album is feeling at the moment, given we're at the halfway point. And while initially things aren't looking good with this one either, what with Snoop's contribution being limited to a hook and ad-libs only, and Xzibit dropping the line "see the skid marks from the shit I've been through" during the first verse, which is frankly vomit inducing. Thankfully, though, I kind of like this one. Dre's beat isn't one of his best, sure, but it is Dr. Dre we're talking about here, so even his weaker contributions are still pretty much heat - and the choruses and refrains that litter this track are catchy as fuck, with X proving to be a decent singer; shit, it certainly distracts from the lack of lyrical matter we're getting during the verses. This isn't brilliant, but it's a step in the right direction at this point in the record, so I'm all for it.
10. BK To LA (feat. M.O.P.) (prod. Ty Fyffe, co-prod. Tydro)
This collaboration with the Mash Out Posse is certainly better than the one that appeared on Busta Rhymes' Anarchy, as it at least plays to the strengths of the rappers - however, I'm not entirely impressed with this track either. Lyrically it's highly uninteresting, and the instrumental doesn't do anywhere near enough to distract you, instead getting very annoying very quickly. M.O.P. can work sometimes, but here it's difficult to stomach. Sorry. That said, the outro does sound quite nice, once the yelling ceases.
11. My Name (feat. Eminem & Nate Dogg) (prod. Eminem, add-prod. Luis Resto)
Ah yes, the infamous diss track in which Xzibit allows Eminem, who was undeniably the king of the rap game at the time, to spit some fire against Canibus and Jermaine Dupri - X even weighs in on the fun himself, dropping some of the most passionate performances of the entire record so far. I mean, if anything could make Alvin give a shit, it'd have to be the prospect of being rapped circles around by a white boy on his own record. That'd be like losing a home game to Sunderland. Of course, Eminem has the more memorable performance here anyway (after all, it's his own music that he's rhyming over), but make no mistake Xzibit ain't no slouch on the record - he actually sounds invigorated here, with plenty of great bars and a delivery that shows a man with rage in his bones. We haven't felt this energy from him since At the Speed Of Life. And don't get me started on Nate Dogg's incredible hook - R.I.P. to that man. There's a reason this is the most popular song on the album - it truly is brilliant.
12. The Gambler (feat. Anthony Hamilton) (prod. Bink!)
A musical departure from the rest of what we've heard on this record so far, and honestly I kind of like it, even if the knowledge that Bink! produced tracks from The Blueprint a year earlier kind of puts things all in perspective. This song kind of puts me in mind of some old Motown record, with the rhymes about struggle and making a living in the streets being much more interesting to listen to than what the fuck Xzibit has been rhyming about for the rest of this godforsaken LP. This song doesn't touch much from his first three albums, but on here it stands in the upper half, which just goes to show how disappointing this thing is.
13. Missin' U (feat. Andre "Dre Boogie" Wilson) (prod. Rick Rock)
While I don't love Andre Wilson's crooning across this record, Xzibit's heartfelt letter to his deceased mother is touching, and Rick Rock even comes through with one of his better (read: less annoying) instrumentals. It doesn't feel right criticising this sort of song, so I'll leave it at that - but even then I can say I found more enjoyment in this song this time round than on previous listens. Not bad.
14. Right On (prod. Erick Sermon)
After a rather depressing moment on the album, Xzibit hits us with something much more light-hearted, this E-Double produced track with some of the goofiest flows and production touches of the whole album experience. If you've already resigned yourself to Xzibit having lost a lot of his lyrical ability on this record, then you'll probably enjoy this somewhat, as it is sort of fun - but fans of At the Speed Of Life are probably going to give you a brutal side eye if you play this. Also, it's nowhere near as good as X and E's previous collaboration "Alkaholik", and I think both parties here knew that too.
15. Bitch Ass N***az (feat. Eddie Griffin)
NOT. FUNNY.
16. Enemies (prod. J-Beats)
I guess this is supposed to call back to the last song on X's debut album, "Enemies & Friends", but unfortunately all that does is remind us how weak this shit is compared to that album. The instrumental on here is similar to the one on "BK to LA" in that it gets old real fucking fast (no but really, they do sound alike), and this ridiculous chorus is just the next pile of slop on this cafeteria lunch tray. It says something about this album that this isn't even one of the weakest moments - but considering the last four tracks have been decent, it's a shame we had to end with more ridiculous, faux-aggressive, unfunny crap with a beat that sounds like something you'd hear in Monsters Vs Aliens. Fuck this shit.
Hey, audience! Had enough yet? Well that's too bad, because there's more! Some pressings of Man Vs Machine come with a bonus disc, with three additional cuts deemed not quite good enough to make the final cut. God forbid what awaits us on here.
1. My Life, My World (prod. Bink!)
Not a brilliant start, I must say, although at least this is ten times better than some of the shit on the album, like "Harder". The main thing holding this one back is Bink's repetitive and mostly hollow instrumental, which tries to sound dramatic, but falls flat on its face rather quickly when you realise it never progresses throughout the duration of the song. This sounds more like something Jelly Roll would make if I'm being honest. Lyrically, this isn't all that bad, with the occasional memorable moment, like when X seems to come with the occasional socially conscious lyric - but musically, this sucks, and it's not like Xzibit doesn't drop just as much bullshit as on most of the other songs about beating you up or whatever. This really is nothing special.
2. What A Mess (prod. DJ Premier)
An Xzibit collaboration with DJ Premier would be unexpected in the first place, but surely if one were to happen it would make the final tracklist, right? I guess not, because somehow this brilliant track is relegated to bonus cut status - and that's right, I said "brilliant", because this track is truly great. Xzibit sounds surprisingly invigorated over a stellar Preemo instrumental (aided by some scratching on the chorus, partly taken from GZA's "Labels"), almost as if he finally realised that he didn't have to appear like a robot trying to rap for the first time on every track, despite what the album cover might indicate. This honestly wouldn't have sounded out of place on one of X's first two albums, and that's without doubt the first time I could say that about a song on here, so props. If you have to pick up this bonus disc, let this be the track to convince you.
3. (Hit U) Where It Hurts (prod. Rockwilder)
Not terrible, but not brilliant either. The somewhat nu-metal vibe of this song might put some listeners off, but on the other hand the chorus is kind of amusing, and at this point anything that doesn't sound like "Harder" or "My Life, My World" will suffice. Anddddd we're done.
Look... I like Xzibit, I really do. He's one of my favourites in fact, and anyone who's read my other posts on him would know that. Unfortunately, there's really no way around the fact that Man Vs Machine is a terrible album, and one of the worst solo records ever released by a rapper whom I really respect, especially in terms of albums put out during an artist's heyday. I'm sure some people would say - "but hey, what about all the songs you liked?" And they'd have a point - I do like quite a few songs on here. "Release Date", "Multiply", "My Name" and "What a Mess" are some of my favourite Xzibit cuts of the 2000s, that I definitely would recommend a listen to for anyone, and there are some other occasional moments on this album that are enjoyable enough. Unfortunately, at least half of these songs are ones I'd never plan on hearing again, and furthermore there's quite a few downright horrible songs on here - as I mentioned earlier it has one of the worst three song runs in my entire collection (and please let me know of any terrible runs that you know to compete with it). Tracks like "Heart of Man" and "Harder", while the verses are alright, are musically dismal, with nothing going for them. It's not like they didn't age well - I'm sure they sounded horrible at the time too. And it's not just the clunky production, weirdly terrible hooks and stupid fucking album cover that bring this down - it's Xzibit himself. The man's rapping didn't deteriorate here - it fell off a fucking cliff, with this being one of the most serious downgrades I've ever heard in a pen game between albums. I mean, Restless had the occasional weak track, but this? This is seriously bad, and it's no wonder X started hosting Pimp My Ride shortly afterwards, as he had clearly lost his nerve when it came to being an MC. People went from thinking Restless was a fairly shaky but still dope introduction to the mainstream, soon to be followed by a more polished effort, to seeing Restless as X's magnum opus, a project he'd inevitably never top again. No-one, I mean no-one thinks that this is an improvement on Restless. Did I also mention that it sounds even worse to me today than it used to? X's career would continue after this album, but unfortunately he'd never reach the heights of "X" or "What U See Is What U Get" again, and not 4 years into the future he would be all but irrelevant in the game. So not only is it terrible, but Man Vs Machine also kind of killed X's rap career. Well, maybe Pimp My Ride was more to blame, but still. "What a Mess" is right. This one was a real disaster.
Best Tracks: Release Date, Multiply, Losin' Your Mind, My Name, What a Mess (bonus track)
Worst Tracks: Most of the rest of the album
Believe it or not, I am an Xzibit fan, despite this album being terrible. Look, told you!
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