God, I don’t want to do this.
You may remember about four months ago I reviewed Lil Wayne’s
first two albums, Tha Block Is Hot and Lights Out, starting a run
through of the guy’s discography that I’ve wanted to do for a while, since I
hoped his catalogue would dissuade me from my previous opinion that his music was
overhyped commercial crap.
Unfortunately, these two albums didn’t really do that at all. Weezy’s
debut was pretty terrible, sounding like it was made on a budget of £4
including food and water for the engineers, and while his sophomore record just
about worked for the most part, it still didn’t work quite well enough to convince
me that I liked the guy. Sure, his ear for beats seemed to have been cleared
out, but his subject matter and lyrics were just as goofy and try-hard as on
his debut. The only thing compelling me to continue this catalogue is the fact
that it’s supposed to get a lot better, with the releases of Weezy’s Tha
Carter albums throughout the mid to late 2000s.
Unfortunately, before I can get to that, I have to listen to
this. Bloody hell.
Wayne’s third studio album, 500 Degreez, is notable
mainly for beginning his infamous beef with fellow Cash Money spitter Juvenile,
who was sadly the only member of the crew to actually provide decent guest
appearances on the first two Wayne albums (he also made the BEST Cash Money
track, “Back That Azz Up”, and you can fight me to argue that one). Speaking of
“Back That Azz Up”, that song had appeared on an album called 400 Degreez,
and so obviously Wayne naming his album a 100 degreez above that insinuated
that he was the “hotter” member of the crew now. Which was true, but obviously
Juvenile didn’t like that one bit.
Other than that small piece of history, however, this album is
largely forgotten in the Wayne discography, even when compared to its predecessors.
Whether that is a signifier of the album’s quality or not… well, I guess I’ll bear
the burden of finding that out. But I should say that I don’t exactly have high
expectations for this one. I mean, goddammit Wayne – could you get some new producers
for once??
And so, as a punishment for not doing any revision over the Christmas holidays (or more accurately, another way of procrastinating from said revision), here's my first reaction to Lil Wayne's third studio album - 500 Degreez.
All tracks are produced by Mannie Fresh (a moniker that will
surely become less and less convincing with each passing track), except where noted.
1. Fly Talkin'
This intro is hilariously terrible, and doesn't sound like what you'd expect from the album cover at all. Still, that doesn't mean I ever want to hear it again.
2. Look At Me
For the instrumental on this one, it seems like Mannie attempted to impersonate a Neptunes beat, only without any of the class or the actual instrumentation. I could make a better beat than this. Still, at least Wayne sounds pretty good on here, with a nice flow, and vocal mixing that really makes you feel like you're in a club in the early 2000s. The beat sucks, and the chorus is also pretty weak, but at least this isn't as bad as a lot of what was on his debut.
3. Way Of Life (feat. Big Tymers & TQ)
4. Big Tigger Live On The Radio
Self important skit, but then again this is a rap album, so what did I expect. And damn the music in the background here is good!
5. Gangsta and Pimps (feat. Baby)
The first song on the album to have a beat that I actually would describe as "good" (the previous skit doesn't count) comes on this joint with a misspelt title (well, I'll assume it's misspelt). Of course, the song itself isn't that good, as the chorus from an uncredited Jazze Pha is easily the worst thing on the album thus far, but at least they got close. Because yes - Wayne doesn't sound too bad here, and Birdman does an OK job too (I still find it hilarious that he used to actually call himself "Baby"). The verses over this beat sound great, which proves to me that these guys are capable of making a good song - it's a shame they ruin it with a trash hook, and a complete lack of lyrical substance. Also, that song title is making me cringe more and more by the second, so I'd better move on now.
6. Lovely
Following up a song entitled "Gangsta and Pimps" with a song called "Lovely" might be the most hilarious thing Wayne has ever been involved in, not counting his live performances and claim that he was "the best rapper alive", of course. This song is anything but hilarious though, largely because it is quite easily the worst song in the Wayne discography so far. From the terribly cheap and hollow instrumental, the disgustingly bad chorus, and Wayne's rambling lyrics and flows, everything here screams "cheap, effortless tat". Surely not even Wayne's biggest fan enjoys this song. This sucks, man!!
7. Gangsta Shit (feat. Petey Pablo)
I was quite looking forward to this one, since it appeared to be a fan favourite on the album, but unfortunately it presented me with pretty similar problems to every other song here. It sounds cheap, the chorus is terrible (this time not even attempting to be catchy) and the subject matter is redundant as all hell. Petey Pablo's opening verse is merely alright, meanwhile, Wayne does his best to convince me that he's going to kill me if I mess with him, but in his stupid goblin voice that he seems to use on every other goddamn track, completely ruining the intended effect. My favourite part of this song was the outro, where the beat felt a little more energetic for some reason. Overall, however, this song dissapointed me - it's sure not the worst song here, but I don't really enjoy it much either.
8. Big Tigger Live On The Radio
A continuation of the last skit, only without the obnoxious self-love. These skits are surprisingly good.
9. Bloodline
At first, I was really ready to call this song trash, as the beat initially sounded so devoid of depth, and Wayne sounded tired as hell on this track. However, soon I kind of got into the vibe of this one, and by the end of the second verse I was ready to say with confidence that this was the best song on the album so far. Because goddamn, I actually liked this one. Sure, Wayne's lyrics still aren't impressing me, but the groovy, chilled out beat certainly had me in a nice trance, and the chorus is catchy as hell - also, Wayne's voice fits perfectly over this beat, and the line "Nod your head to this bitch til it fall off" (not rapped, just spoken) actually made me smile. I hope there are better tracks to come, but at least I can say that I fully enjoyed one track on here.
10. Where You At
11. Worry Me
I think I've discovered one of the many problems with these early Wayne albums. While the last two tracks didn't suffer from this issue, this song and many others incorporate these nursery-rhyme ass melodies into the instrumentals, which then completely disregards Wayne's general message, which is almost certainly about how he is going to kill you, whilst simultaneously drowning in money and having sex with your girlfriend. This song is a prime example of this, which is another way of saying that it was terrible. Sorry!
12. 500 Degreez
Ah, just what we needed during these dire times - a title track. The sinister air of the production and Wayne's slick flow meant that I just about enjoyed this one, but that doesn't come without it's consequences. Sure, the vocoder thing on the chorus sounds cool, but that doesn't change the fact that you'll probably burst right into laughter as soon as you hear what he is saying. Still, I enjoyed the dark feel of this track enough to say that it's a highlight here for me.
13. Go Hard
Originally, I was gonna rip on the squeaky delivery of "Weezy Baby" at the start, but as I slowly made my way through the rest of this song, I realised that that would be like taking a plate of raw meat and rotten potatoes, and criticising it for being served on a chipped plate. Also, this beat makes my head ache. If I was a cynicist, I might observe that the amount of songs I've thought about skipping through less than a minute in on this album is probably signifying that this discography dive was a mistake, but thankfully I'm not, so I'll just say that I haven't quite got into him yet. Still, this album is really tiring me out.
14. Young'n Blues
Well, I never thought I'd hear Wayne act like an actual human on a record, but here we are. (Just kidding - he did have some more emotional cuts on the previous albums, not that I can remember their names right now). This track sees Wayne showing remorse for his treatment of his baby mother, and how now he feels alone and like none of the women he is around really know him. The chorus on this song absolutely blows, and is seriously one of the worst on this entire album, but still, having some actually engaging lyrical content and a nice message meant that I was able to enjoy this song a lot. It's a decent song, but bear in mind it's not exactly being compared to the pinnacle of hip-hop here.
15. Believe That (feat. Blaque & Mannie Fresh) (prod. Jazze Pha)
Holy hell this song was bad. I'm not sure if it's quite as bad as "Lovely" from earlier, but it's close, and that should tell you all you need to know. The amount of times the words "believe that, daddy" are repeated in this song - by a group of grown men!!! - is enough to drive any casual listener insane. The hell was this??
16. Rob Nice Live On The Radio
Okay I didn't like this skit as much as the others.
17. Fuck You (feat. Big Tymers)
Were there no other good rappers that Mannie could have given this beat? While the instruments once again sound cheap as hell, the melodies themselves on this instrumental along with the drum pattern create an aggressive, intense atmosphere that is perfect for the confrontational title of the track - it's just a shame that Lil Wayne, Birdman and Mannie Fresh decided to rap over this one themselves, and are terrible. I still like the title and the beat, but this track has some serious wasted potential, man.
18. What Does Life Mean To Me (feat. TQ & Big Tymers)
Can these guys just fucking shut up already??
19. Get That Dough (feat. Baby, Tateeze & Cristale) (prod. Jazze Pha)
I was complaining about Mannie Fresh, but if the other producers available to Wayne are this awful then you can't really blame him for only working with the one guy. This beat is stagnant and completely forgettable, and while the perspective of some female MCs is refreshing, Birdman's presense certainly isn't. Wayne isn't on this song enough for me to care anyway, so I think I'll just move on to the next one.
20. Fo Sheezy
It seems the generic song title generator is working wonders for Wayne on this album. It's a shame his pen game isn't - beside one diss towards Juvenile I found absolutely nothing worth of writing about here. Oh, except for the constant misogyny that completely disspells anything he said on the somewhat decent "Young'n Blues" from earlier. It seems that Wayne doesn't even bother sequencing his own albums. Well this sucked.
21. Fly Talkin' Go Home
A long, underwhelming waste of my time. Kind of like this album, come to think of it.
It's not that I hate Lil Wayne or anything - my review for Lights Out should alone prove that. But I do kind of hate a lot of his early music. It just feels to me like every single goddamn album so far has been almost completely devoid of humanity or introspective content, and has instead been entirely stuffed with songs about drug dealing, murdering, having sex with people's girlfriends and being inexplicably rich - pretty much every characteristic of hip-hop that leads to it getting a bad name, despite the fact that there's a ton of great music without any of that content that people are missing. Of course, I have to understand that Wayne knew what he was doing and was just trying to make the money to feed his kid by creating the music the mainstream supposedly wanted, but that doesn't change the fact that this album's constant barrage of macho attitude makes it a slog to get through, and resulted in me often tuning out from Wayne's actual lyrics, whether that be on purpose or not. Of course, this wasn't usually a good idea, because Wayne is actually the best part of this album. As usual, most of Mannie Fresh's beats sound cheap and nasty, like they were made on the 2002 equivalent of GarageBand, and the constant loops and lack of switch ups make every song a bloody pain to get through, especially when they're all at least 3 and a half minutes long, some stretching to 5. And don't even get me started on these choruses - there are about two on here that actually work, and more that actually ruined a song's chances of being quality (looking at you, "Gangsta and Pimps"). The rest were just little bits of shit in a sea of sewage, which is harsh, but kind of how I feel about most of this album. This project represents the bling era perfectly - the only issue being that it was about four years too late for that and didn't really end up making Weezy a household name - ironically, Juvenile's 400 Degreez was actually a far more successful record. Thankfully, Wayne's albums would soon transition into his Tha Carter series, which, God help me, is supposed to be actually good. So, I'll catch you all next time, as we dive into the really important part of the Lil Wayne catalogue. Peace!
Best Track: "Where You At"
Worst Track: "Lovely"
52%
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